


Catching the Pilot

by Kerica



Series: Kerica Shepard [3]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mass Effect 2, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Minor Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Minor Shepard/Liara T'Soni, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26203609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kerica/pseuds/Kerica
Summary: I said in the series description I was going to do Shepard's Harem and it all starts with Joker.XA long time ago, Anderson had tasked him to look out for her, to keep her stress levels down even if that meant making dumb jokes all the time. He’d learned why along the way. It was easy to make her laugh, but that worked in his favor. Right now? He wasn’t sure joking was what she needed.
Relationships: Jeff "Joker" Moreau/Female Shepard
Series: Kerica Shepard [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/972312
Kudos: 6





	Catching the Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> AlyssAlenko inspired the idea that Jeff looks out for Shepard and keeps her stress levels down bc Anderson tasked him with the job. I'm giving credit where credit is due. I love her Abigail Shepard & Joker they're so adorable check them out!
> 
> X
> 
> Ch2 will be after they get Garrus back but he's in med-bay after being hit with the rocket.

There was no doubt in his mind that the Commander Shepard they showed him was _actually_ his Commander. Why?

All her ticks of a mental breakdown where there.

Jeff had known Kerica Shepard for a long time, and to see her unable to steadily meet anyone’s eyes was his first major red flag. She was the type to always stare someone right in the eye when speaking because it was a power move, and she always ended up with more respect for someone if they didn’t waver. When her jade greens didn’t linger on his for more than two seconds? Yeah, something was up.

Then there was her pacing. Yeah she moved around when she was antsy, but that was usually shifting from one foot to the other, crossing her arms, huffing and puffing. When she paced, back and forth, back and forth while talking? She was stressed. The more she did it, the more stressed she was.

He caught her aimlessly pacing around the new Normandy, touching her face and her arms, but he was busy getting the ship ready to fly so he wasn’t able to talk to her. 

All of this led to no surprise when EDI told him Shepard had called for him. In the middle of the night. So he hobbled his way to the elevator and went to the Captain’s Quarters, stomach twisting before he dinged the door. 

As soon as it swished open and he got the bed into view, his stomach dropped.

Shepard was long gone. The woman who stood tall, faced her enemies head on was nowhere to be found. In her place was a woman curled in on herself, sat on the edge of the bed. Kerica even had the duvet around her frame, face in her hands, sobbing her eyes out. 

After grounding himself and siding with Cerberus? He didn’t give a flying fuck if his Commander was at her best at all times. She was human, and he understood that. A long time ago, Anderson had tasked him to look out for her, to keep her stress levels down even if that meant making dumb jokes all the time. He’d learned why along the way. It was easy to make her laugh, but that worked in his favor. Right now? He wasn’t sure joking was what she needed. 

Walking slowly to the bed, his heart broke when she said ‘Joker’ in such a small voice. “I’m here, Keri-kitty,” he soothed, using the nickname he’d given her a long time ago.

Slipping herself from the blankets she nearly stumbled off the bed, and he stopped in time to catch her as she threw her arms around his torso. He imagined this was what she’d wanted before, but Jacob and Miranda were unknown forces and weren’t to be trusted. At least, not yet. “Joker…” she sobbed, “I didn’t want to die...it still feels like I can’t breathe…”

Goddamn, didn’t that shatter him and he dropped his crutches so he could hug her back even tighter than she was holding onto him. He knew he didn’t have to worry about her hurting him; she always measured her strength. “I dreamt about it nearly every night for two years. I doubt it’s gunna go away anytime soon, even with you right here in the flesh.” He wouldn’t bullshit her. “Why’d you have to go and press the button, Keri?” he whispered, “You were so close. All you had to do was grab my hand.”

“Everything was exploding around us. I thought there wasn’t enough time. I...I reacted. I didn’t think. I just wanted everyone to get out safe…” Kerica hiccuped, “I’m sorry...Joker, I’m so sorry!” she shook in his arms and wailed. 

All he could do was stroke his fingers through her hair. It was so brown...the reconstruction had gotten rid of all the bleach, new hair had grown out but they’d kept it in the same bob-cut style. Off the neck, just how she liked it. “I got you, Keri. I’m here. You’re here. You’re alive...that’s what matters, isn’t it?” he spoke after a moment.

She nodded into his chest, and the hiccuping sobs went a little too quiet suddenly. Joker sighed, “You’re biting back what you want to say. Spit it out.”

“I don’t feel like me…” Kerica pulled back, and he watched as she touched at her cheeks with her fingertips, but her hands were shaking as the nails slightly bit into her skin. “I’m filled with...bits and pieces and machinery…” she gave him a terrified expression that shook him, “I can feel it. I guess the ‘three minutes until brain damage’ doesn’t apply to Cerberus, but...Goddess, I’m...I…”

Joker caught her wrists as she started to hyperventilate. “Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Breathe with me, Keri. You’re okay. I know you’re you, okay? Everything about you is still here. How you talk, your signs and tells. I can read you now as well as I could before.”

“Were you watching me?” her lips quirked, but her smile was wet and didn’t meet her eyes, “Don’t tell me you realized you loved me after I was gone.”

“Yeah…” Joker breathed, the emotions of the moment carrying him along and making him dumb. The shock crossed her face and he brought her into another embrace. “Yeah I did...and I know you were with Liara…”

“Liara left to do her own thing, and so did Garrus. Everyone left.” Kerica hiccupped again, her hands hesitant as they rested on his waist. That’s right. Abandonment issues. How could he forget? “Besides that...I’m not monogamous, Jeff. I still love Liara, even if she’s living her own life.”

It was odd to hear her call him Jeff, but he liked the sound of it. “I don’t mind.” In a way he did. Of course he did. It’d be in her right to not really love a cripled man and follow the next best thing. “Kerica…”

Her breath hitched and she tightened her grip on him, “Even if I said I love Garrus, too? I really liked Kaidan…” that decision would be with her forever.

“Shh...yeah, even if you love the pole-up-his-ass Turian,” Joker’s nose brushed through her hair. She didn’t exactly smell like Kerica yet. Still smelled like a hospital and the battlefield, but he looked forward to her sliding into the cockpit and getting a waft of her personal shampoo and soap. “Not too sure he feels the same way, but if he does you better tell him you’re poly.”

“You’re _really_ okay with that?” Kerica was hesitant, soft hiccups still shaking her body from time to time. “Not a lot of people are…but I believe in communication.”

“I know you do. I’m not saying I’m going to love everyone you do, I seriously doubt I’m gay and I doubt my body could handle that,” he reveled in the first giggle he was able to pull from her, his own smile tugging at his lips. Pulling away, he tucked her hair behind her ear and there was a flutter in his chest at the shy way she darted her eyes from him and ducked her head into her shoulders, “I’m here for _you_ , Keri. No one else. I believe in you and what we’re fighting for. That’s enough for me.”

They were quiet for a moment, his hand on her face, thumbing the glowing scars and his hat got dislocated as their foreheads bumped. “When you...get the ship steady towards Omega, will you come back?” she asked softly, “I’m gunna...take a shower. I can’t wait to get some of my favorite toiletries back. I already looked and it’s just generic stuff in there right now.”

A soft chuckle left him, “Of course, Keri. If you’re asleep, I’ll try not to rock the bed too much. I heard from Anderson you don’t take well to being disturbed.”

An honest laugh left her and it made him feel so relieved, “Of _course_ he told you that. Yeah, I’m mean when I’m woken up by someone or something other than my alarm.” There was a sudden look of uncertainty on her face, but what Joker wasn’t expecting was for her to lean up and press her lips to his cheek. Stunned, he wasn’t able to really appreciate the blush on her face as she pulled away and retrieved his crutches, helping him get situated again, “I appreciate you...so much, Jeff. I’ll see you when I see you.”

“Yeah...yeah, of course, Keri. Goodnight,” he caught her arm and brought her close enough he could plant a kiss on her forehead, pulled back and situated his cap. Grinning at her, he headed back towards the door. 

He’d call this mission accomplished, for sure.


End file.
